Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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