His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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