VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
