Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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