I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
