all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
