you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
