ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
