Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
