butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
