if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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