He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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