Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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