i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
