he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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