He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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