You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
