i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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