kristin has been a bad kristin
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
