Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
