and you said cock pushups were impossible
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
