After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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