she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
