remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
