Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
