so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
