Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
