Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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