i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
