ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
it's great music for shaving your balls
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
