why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
