i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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