proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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