I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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