I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I need to calm my uterus...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
