THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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