What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
