Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
