fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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