I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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