I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
