Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
