every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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