i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
