fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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