He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
