don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
