just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
