I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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