what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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